johannadragomir

How to use Live Journal

Fri, 17 Oct 2008 09:17:24 GMT

Sometimes I just get nut because of LJ. The reason is very simple - my LJ is in three languages! Some parts of it are in my native - latvian, some - in russian and some - in english. Together it makes a huge mess and sometimes I lose any sense of orientation here.

The Secret

Fri, 17 Oct 2008 07:57:42 GMT

Last few days were like nightmare. Phone was ringing all the time so in one moment he just switched it off. Yellow press was cheering and publishing one nasty article after another. It wasn’t the first time when his life had turned upside down but it definitely was the worst one.

It was a triumph for everyone who didn’t like him. He should be upset because of that but wasn’t. These people ment nothing to him and he didn’t care about their opinion. There were only four people about whose thoughts he cared: Yu, Strify, Luminor and Shin.

Their attitude had changed a lot in last days. They had grew cold to him. It hurted Kiro but also he understood them. Yellow press had found out his biggest secret. Secret, which he hided even from his closest friends.

Kiro remembered moment two days earlier. He was sitting in the living room staring at the wall. Strify came in and went to him. He didn’t sit down and looked at Kiro.

- Since I’m the leader I’ll speak in the name of our all. We try to understand reasons why you hided that from us but still… friends doesn’t act like that. You’ve failed our trust. We’ve been a friends of yours for long enough time and we’ve always been honest to you. I got a call from yellow press recently. They were asking what do I think about this and I didn’t know what to say. I said that there will be no comments and journalist thought that I just don’t want to talk about this in public. But in fact… I felt absolutely stupid and had no words… Kiro, you’ve hurted us a lot.

Then Strify turned and went away showing that he doesn’t want to hear any excuses from Kiro.

Kiro didn’t blame him. Neither he blamed the rest of the band. He had thought a lot and he realized that there were no serious reasons why he didn’t tell them anything.

“You can’t hide from your past,” Kiro remembered. “Oh yes, no-one can,” he thought.

It was almost midnight and he was sitting in the lonely park very close to some metro station.

Moonlight frigidly lighted locality. He tried not to be at home in last days. He just couldn’t stand Strify’s and Yu’s taciturnity.

So, the day he didn’t want to experience had come.

Yellow press had somehow found out that he’s got a kid, a seven years old kid. And Kiro was only 20.

Kiro wallowed in his memories and went to eight years old past.

He lost his virginity two months after his 12^th birthday. The girl was his first girlfriend, Anya. In the beginning, everything was OK. They enjoyed their relations and sex. But then came the day he’ll never forget - July 12^th. Anya told him that she’s pregnant. Kiro’s legs shaked. Twelve years old Kiro and 14 years old Anya were about to become parents.

Kiro didn’t go trough the all memories. He didn’t want to remember reaction of his parents.

Nine months later, on April 2^nd 2001, their son was born. Instead of being proud parents there were two thunderstruck teenagers: the 13 years old dad and the 15 years old mom.

They called their son Sebastian. After the child’s birth Kiro’s and Anya’s parents attitude changed. They become attached to Sebi and finally started to support the young parents.

Kiro and Anya split up after two years. For some time they continued to live together in flat which parents had rented for them. But then Anya met another guy and moved out taking Sebi with her. Kiro stayed alone and went into music.

For the next few years Kiro visited his son regularly. Sebi was cute and very sharp-witted kid. Anyone who saw them together thought that they’re brothers. Kiro didn’t mind. Sebi, except for his age, understood that. He had noticed that he’s got much younger dad that the other kids has. So, on public they pretended to be brothers.

When Kiro became popular he couldn’t contact with Sebi as much as he used. Also he wanted to continue to keep this private.

He couldn’t actually explain why he didn’t tell about his son to Lumi, Strify, Yu and Shin. At first, when they met, Kiro didn’t know how will it end. He didn’t want to tell so personal thing to foreign people that he’d met in the Internet. Later, when they became closer and founded band he couldn’t find the right moment.

Kiro looked at his watch. It was about 1 AM. He decided to go home after about an hour. He didn’t wanted return to flat while someone was awake. Strify usually went to sleep shortly after midnight. Yu usually was watching TV or playing video games till abut 1 AM.

Luckily, they had taken break from touring so Kiro didn’t have to spend much time with them. He had made breach.

Next week was the same as previous one: yellow press enjoyed this sensation, Internet forums were full of fan discussions. Some of them were on his side but some of them couldn’t recover from shock.

He visited Anya and Sebi. They lived in a private house outside of town together with Anya’s husband. Anya was very understanding.

- Oh, it would happen sooner or later. You too popular to keep this in secret for long time.

For you it’s something new. I understand how you feel. I’ve been faced with people’s incomprehension and frowning on for years: finding a job, registering Sebi in kindergarten. People usually think that I’m his sister. When I say that I’m his mom they become very interested in my age. I’ve get used to it. It will be the same with you.

Kiro, we’ve got nothing to shame about. We’ve got wonderful son. Of course, we were too young to become parents but so what? I’ve never regretted that I have him.

Sebi was happy to see his dad again. They were sitting in the garden. Sebi was very sharp-witted kid and he understood the situation very well. He said that this year he’ll start education at school but because of this he’ll probably have a private teacher for some time.

Kiro was looking at him and he felt that everything that brought him down had faded away. He felt calm and strong again.

Sebi said that he’s proud of him and likes to see him on the magazine covers and on TV.

- I love you dad, - Sebi said and hugged Kiro.

In this moment Kiro felt that all his strength returns to him. He’ll stand over all negation and he’ll protect people that he treasures.

Later Kiro was going home. He decided to bring the band together and to apologize to them. He hoped that he’ll meet there at least one of his flat mates.

When Kiro entered the flat he saw that no-one’s at home. He sighed. Kiro went to kitchen and made himself a drink. Leaned to kitchen’s desk he drank the cold soda.

Someone rang at the door.

“Who could it be?” Kiro thought and went to open them.

It was Luminor. Kiro was a bit surprised. Lumi came in and went to living room. He sat and gave Kiro a look.

- Hi, - he said.

- Hi, - Kiro answered.

- Yesterday we came together and talked about you. We all agreed that we can’t continue this way. We’ve been friends for years and we’ve never turned back to each other. We don’t like that you kept your son in secret but you’re our friend and we have forgiven to you. Of course, you’ve shaken our faith and it will take a while to renew them.

Then Lumi stand up and walked up to Kiro.

- Friends? – Kiro asked.

- Friends, - Lumi answered.

Lumi caressed Kiro’s cheek:

- Huh… Don’t do anything like this again.

- I won’t, - Kiro promised.

Then they embraced each other.

Stranger in the town

Fri, 17 Oct 2008 07:53:16 GMT

It was late autumn evening. City was unequally alighted. It was misting. I was in some district consisting from block houses. I went to one of them, opened the front door and stepped in.

I was going upstairs and reached some flat’s door. I didn’t knock, I opened them and came in.

There was someone in the flat. He didn’t look surprised when he saw me. I knew that he didn’t expect me to come. Well, I didn’t plan to visit someone. I don’t know why I came exactly to this flat. I could chose any other flat instead. Or just keep walking.

We had never met before but I knew who he is. It was Antti Anatomia. He was looking at me. He was impressed. That wasn’t surprise for me – I’m really cute, he-he.

- Isn’t it too late for young lady to go somewhere? Besides, it’s cold outside. – He said.

- Maybe.

I looked around. Hall, bedroom and a kitchen were joined in one room. Walls were painted dim yellow. Room was light. Huge TV was turned on making noise.

- I don’t know how did I got here. I was just walking around and then… I can’t explain it.

- Then don’t do that.

I took off my coat. It was a bit wet.

- Where can I put this?

Antti took my coat and stringed it up on the hanger that was near the door. I took off my boots.

- Aren’t you cold? What will you drink – something alcoholic or non-alcoholic?

- Hmmm, both of them, I think. Can you make grog?

Antti smiled:

- Good idea! I think I’ll have one too.

He went to the kitchen part of the flat. I followed him and sat down at the kitchen table.

I was watching Antti while he was making drinks. It was obvious that he really likes to live here. His moves were fast and powerful. He definitely knew what is what in the kitchen and where you can find it.

Soon he joined me at the kitchen table and we were drinking grog. It tasted amazing.

- Gosh, you know how to make grog.

- Not only grog. I’m master in making drinks. And I can cook too if I want.

Antti looked adulated for my compliment.

After few sips I felt much better. It was so pleasant to be here in warmth and drink grog, speaking to him. We were talking about different stuff, like music, life…

Later I felt a bit tired and laid down on the couch that was also Antti’s bed. He laid down too. The TV was still turned on although none of us was watching it. Antti was laying with his back to the screen. We continued to talk.

I noticed that he’s been interested in me. Antti was cute and sweet but I didn’t have any other feelings to him. I was coming from no where and had met him randomly. I started to feel that he wants me to stay.

We were laying on our sides. Me – on the right, he – on the left.

I don’t know how much time passed. Maybe few hours. We were still taking. He was very enjoyable companion.

- I must go now, - I suddenly said.

Antti jumped.

- Why? You can stay here.

- No, I must go.

I caressed his cheek. Antti looked into my eyes. I saw request in his look.

I stand up, took my boots and coat and put them on.

Antti stand up too. He was hoping that I’ll change my mind.

Of course, he could say that it’s too late for me to go out. It was true. There was a night outside. He could lock the door and say that I must stay, that he’ll worry about me if I’ll leave now. But he didn’t do anything.

I gave him a look and opened the door. Standing on the doorstep I turned to him and said:

- Thank you for your company. This was beautiful evening.

Then I closed the door behind me, went downstairs and was on the street again. The rain had stopped and I went farer.

Lanterns were lightening me.

Writer's Block: Caring

Wed, 09 Jul 2008 18:34:49 GMT

My friends and family

Who do you care about most in your life?

View 500 Answers